The whole story

Writing my heart out...:

I was so busy during my shift this morning and being it a Sunday, I was on solo duty, an OMO show in the controller room and taking care of Kim Chuan Depot and nine other Circle Line stations. There was a consist reformation in the depot and 2 other movements in the mainline. At the same time there were workers trying to book themselves into the Defined Area at Marymount Station. I also had a radio communication breakdown at Bishan and Marymount. So for the first 3 whole damn hours, I was struggling with so many things. My 2 phones and 2 desk radios were sounding continuously. I was like a mad trader at the Singapore Exchange. There was no way for a break.

Things then started to ease a little and at around 11am, someone appeared online from my e-buddy account. She set herself to 'Busy' mode so that I would not disturb her. So I didn't disturb her until some time later when a programme I wrote notified me of a new blog she had posted on her site. I went in to read while catching a breather from all the shit. And I realized she had written a remark about me, that I had bugged her day and night with my SMSes and on MSN. I was thinking "have meh"? I felt like a jerk.

She is a church friend who is a year younger than me. I have known her for some time from a young adults group. My intention was just to 'catch-up' with her, nothing more. But it eventually became a crush. Never mind, I was not going to do anything anyway.

On to another side, R was a colleague of mine in the North East Line. He is my confidant and I have been telling him a lot of things, and also about the girl. He asked me what was I waiting for? Was I going to let this opportunity slip by?

He was dead serious and persistently pressured me to call her. I didn't do it because she was busy. He didn't give up. He followed up and pestered me day and night on my progress. I eventually sent her a few SMSes.

Okay, yes. That was how I had bugged her.

R meant well for me. But I was still reluctant. I didn't feel comfortable. And I was also not going to break this friendship up with her.

I was talking to God about her every now and then, and everyday. But I couldn't help it after that. She backpacked to Japan for 2 weeks and I grew to miss her so much I lost concentration at work and became a little less efficient. I was restless. I lost my appetite. The 2 weeks were like 2 years.

I was happy when she finally returned from her holiday, but only to find out that I was bugging her. Sorry.

It was good of her just now to inform me of her impatience. I guessed she guessed I was now going after her. She advised me to expand my social circle so that I would find nicer people instead of an impatient girl like her. What she said actually made me more motivated to go after her.

Being an only child who lost my dad since young, I grew up with an impatient mother. And I wanted to tell her that I was already accustomed to all these. Still actually.

We started to chat after she completed her blog. Though I was still but not very busy, I had better squeeze a bit in of some chat time with her, or else I won't get the chance to do so over the next few days. Imagine! I was handling a consist and chatting with her at the same time. Haha!

We were discussing a 'When Will You Get Married' quiz on Facebook just now. She somehow told me she was pretty sure that we were not meant for each other. Ummmm... Well, if she would give me a chance... But I've not talked to her about it yet.

I will have to torture myself not talking to her for a while. She needs some time, I would understand that, for herself to be un-bugged.

I knocked-off duty at 2pm and boarded 70M to church. My mind was occupied and I could only see her in my mind.

I'll wait until after coming back from my cross-country road trip, and when she would call me up for supper again. In the meantime, I'm just seeking God.
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Consist: Engineering train made up of locomotive and wagon configurations

EMU (Electric Multiple Units): An electric train set

Reformation: Changing of configuration of a consist by switching, attaching or detaching a locomotive and/or other wagons at specified tracks

Defined Area: Area of railway vehicular traffic movements.